im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
