the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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