i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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