This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
