there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
