i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
