they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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