i just wanna soil my oats bro
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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