Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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