The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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