I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
