Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
