So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
