Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
