these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
