I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
