The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
