good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
