FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
