I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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