I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am one with the molecules
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize