you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
