Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
