Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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