So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
