We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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