you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
