So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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