chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
