According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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