Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
