Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
