so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
