the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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