I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
