I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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