You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
