I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
