FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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