There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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