His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
