Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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