do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
