Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
