So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
