I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
