just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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