dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize