I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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