I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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