I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
