Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
