If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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