i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize