First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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