I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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