it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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