you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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