It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize