"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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