I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
