I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
