I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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