Soap is not a condiment
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize