Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
