If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
